A Wee Fighter

On ‎Saturday, ‎25 ‎July ‎2015 I got the pleasure of photographing Theo. He was such a gorgeous wee character with loads of personality. Theo has an amazing life story that I wanted to share with my visitors to my website. So here is his journey written so beautifully by Theo’s Mum.

October 31st- The day I found out I was pregnant. It was a complete surprise, but a pleasant one. We quickly got used to the idea it was no longer just us two. We were soon to be 3! Time seemed to drag as I counted down to the 12week mark so I could share our exciting news with our friends and family.

February 4th- The day we found out our baby was a boy. Also the day everything started to go downhill. Our baby was small, too small for what he should have been at 19weeks gestation.

My blood pressure was creeping upwards, causing my placenta to thin and the blood flow to baby to decrease. I was admitted to hospital and put on bed rest. I had regular scans to monitor the blood flow and check my baby was okay.

March 19th- The worst had happened. The blood flow had stopped and we had to decide what we were going to do. Deliver him and hope for the best or leave him be and hope by some miracle he would grow some more and survive the week.

March 20th- Theodore Anton Raal was born at 11:15am via emergency c-section weighing a tiny 510gms. He was 1.2lb of absolute perfection. People had prepared us for the worst but there was no doubt in my mind, he was a fighter and he was going to prove them wrong.

Things were not easy for Theo. His lungs were severely under developed and because of his extreme prematurity, he was prone to catching infections. He would overcome an infection and things looked good, then another would strike but he would fight it, keep growing and show us how strong he was.

June 4th- Theo needed laser treatment on his eyes and 2 hernias repaired, which could only be done in Christchurch. Theo had his first ride in a helicopter! All went well and we returned home 10 days later in a small plane-another first for Theo.

Things were looking up. Theo was steadily gaining weight and doing well. He moved into a cot, started wearing clothes and moved onto opti flow, a different type of breathing support which also meant we could see much more of his handsome face. Time started to fly by and I really started to feel like a mother. My days were spent cuddling, feeding, soothing and playing with Theo. He had such a cheeky personality. He was feisty and not afraid to let you know if he was unhappy about something you were doing but also gentle, loving and always keen for a cuddle. I couldn’t wait to get him home and have him all to myself and start our adventures I had spent months planning in my head.

August 5th- Home was looking so close. We finally started to prepare and let ourselves get excited to bring our baby home. Turns out life had other plans.

August 10th- Theo wasn’t himself. He was grizzly, unsettled and requiring a large amount more of oxygen support. He had contracted a viral infection in his chest which greatly affected his lungs. His steroid dose was increased once more and we had to wait for it to pass and hope he would bounce back quickly. The infection went away but Theo’s lungs were struggling immensely. He was growing more each day but his lungs were not. He seemed to get a little better for a few days then a lot worse. He was unhappy. He was in pain. He wasn’t coping.

August 24th- Things were bad. We were hopeful they would get better but deep down it was almost like I knew what was going to happen, I just didn’t want to acknowledge it. We talked with his paediatrician about the situation at present and his quality of life. There was nothing more we could do other than pray he would, by some miracle come right and be his happy, healthy self again. That he would need less oxygen support and one day, in the very distant future, breath on his own. We spoke about the many issues he had and what his future would possibly be like. Things were looking bleak.

August 26th- The worst day of my life. Theo was showing more signs that he was struggling and was holding on as best he could. We held him all day, told him stories of the things we dreamt of doing together and how much we loved him. We did our best to make him comfortable while he was suffering. We packed our bags, ready to stay with him to make the most of the time we thought we had left.

As the day went on Theo worsened. It was clear to us he was suffering. He was in pain. He couldn’t cope anymore. At 11.29pm on August 26th Theodore Anton Raal passed away peacefully in his father’s arms.

My beautiful baby who I had wished for all my life was gone. Our hearts were broken. I was incomplete. After everything we had been through how could this happen?

We took comfort knowing medically we did everything possible. As parents we gave it our all. Theo was no longer suffering and was at peace.

Our beautiful baby was so loved. He taught me how to be a better person and mother. He touched so many lives. He truly was a miracle.

I am so thankful I got the opportunity to meet and photograph this gorgeous wee boy! He made such an impact on my heart and really taught me to never take life for granted. He also taught me that every little moment I captured is someone else treasured memories.

I want to say a huge Thank you to Abbey and Byron for allowing me to be a part of Theo’s life and Choosing Nicole Pilgrim Photography to capture your treasured memories.

Rest in Paradise Theo, Missed but never forgotten x